简单英语搞笑笑话1 Aguywakesupinadrunkenstupor,openinghiseyesheseesClaudiaSchifferonthebednexttohim.Hethink下面是小编为大家整理的2023年简单英语搞笑笑话,菁选3篇,供大家参考。
简单英语搞笑笑话1
A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn"t remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her.
He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million.
This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.
Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around.
In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well.
He asks the leprechaun what is going on.
"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."
"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"
"The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million."
"And them out there?" asks the guy,
"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."
简单英语搞笑笑话2
Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand.
Little Jimmy stood up, alone.
Mrs. White said, "Jimmy, do you really think you"re stupid?"
"No," Jimmy said. "But I didn"t want you standing up there alone."
简单英语搞笑笑话3
A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.
After a while the husband said to his wife: Honey in all the years together, was there ever a time when you were unfaithful to me?
The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one time early in our marriage. Remember when you had lost your job and the bank was going to foreclose on the house. I made a trip to town, saw the banker and we got the loan extended until you returned to work.
The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved our home; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that one time. Was there ever another time?
The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one other time. Remember when you had gotten sick and needed an operation or you would die, but we didn’t have any insurance. I made a trip to town, saw the doctor and you got the operation..
The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved my life; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that time either. Was there another time?
The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Well there was just one other time. Remember when you were running for club president and you only needed 58 more votes………..
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